Letting My Mind Run Free

I wanted to post this in Everything Awesome, but I couldn't really see it having a title with the word awesome in it. I'm just going to let my mind wander as I write stuff down.

Time and I have never really gone at the same pace. Time is going at a constant jog and likes to sprint at the most unexpected times, while I like to walk at a slow and leisure pace. As such I often get left behind in a lot of things. Heavens! John is going to be a daddy in a few months! Its seems like it was only a few days ago that the two of us were in "A Fiddler on the Roof" together. Already people who graduated with me are married (I can actually only think of one, but that is still a O_O moment). And yet I haven't really done anything because I always assume I'll have time later. While I was in high school, I thought that I still had plently of time to do college stuff, yet here I sit, no closer to entering a college than the day I graduated. Actually, I was closer the day I graduated than I am now. ;_; It seems like six months is a long time before I turn 19 and subsequently go on a mission, but the way things go for me, I'm going to blink and miss it. There are tons of things that I want to do before then. More on that later.

I'm not a social person. Anyone who knows me is likely to say "Duh" at that. Its a wonder how I turned out to be such a recluse when both of my parests aren't. My dad can just talk to a person he meets for hours upon hours, and yet I am never one to even consider trying to start a conversation. This is why I like the internet so much. Its a lot easier to be myself when I don't actually have to look at the person I'm talking to or respond immediatly. I know a lot of people think that talking on the internet is destroying people's social skills, but that's okay for me, I didn't have any to destroy in the first place.

I didn't really have a problem so much with being unable to speak with other people face to face until recently. It's always kind of nagged at me in the back of my mind, but I usually ignore that. Remember how I said that there are things I wish to do before my mission? I have a certain friend that I usually talk to through the internet. I have her phone number (attained through email) and I wish to call her, but heavens I can't! How could picking up a phone and dialing a few numbers be so incredibly difficult!? I can face up to doctors who wish to cut into my insides and pull stuff out, a daunting 50,000 word undertaking, and I can even face leaving my home, state, and possibly even country for two years to preach the gospel, but I can't pick up the phone! The very idea terrifies me. How in the world have I become so pathetic? The only reason that I'm okay with writing this is that she doesn't really know how to use computers very well and there is a slim to none chance that she'll see this. The fact that she doesn't do well with computers makes it hard to communicate with her over the internet, so the best way to speak with her is to actually speak with her. This is most I've ever regretted being unable to effectivly commminucate with others! ;_;

...This post is kind of depressing. Lets end on a happy note.

Christmas is in only a few weeks! :D The town has pulled out all the stops with the Christmas decorations! I love looking at all the lights around town!