Saturday, September 13, 2014

Cold Wonder First Draft.

So yes, its been a while, blah blah blah. I have a laptop now, so I should be able to post more. More than that, I am in a creative writing class now, so I will be writing more, allowing me to post more. Here is the first draft of Cold Wonder that I wrote for my Creative Writing class. It is a part of a group of vignettes that we are writing with the theme of place. What do you think?

Cold Wonder

            It was so cold. Why would anyone live here? I had heard, of course, that it would be cold. It made sense that it would be cold. I had listened to the advice I had been given and had brought a lot of winter gear. I like cold weather, I had told myself, so even if it’s bad for some people, it won’t be so bad for me. I arrogantly had thought that Utah has some pretty cold weather, I could handle whatever nature could throw at me. I was prepared for the worse, except I wasn’t. Why would anyone live in Minnesota? I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
                My car wasn’t even that far away, but it was taking an eternity to get there. Time was slowing down, freezing. I was wearing two coats, both too small by themselves, and only just adequate when paired together. I was wearing two shirts and thermals. I originally had thought that I wouldn’t need a scarf, I didn’t want to wear a scarf, but I was wearing my scarf. I had learned about myself that I can’t handle having my mouth and nose being covered at the same time, even by a scarf, so my nose was probably turning blue. I had a beanie pulled over my ears, but my glasses left a small opening which the wind seemed to target. I had heavy duty gloves on, but my fingers were still numb. I had boots, which worked to keep the snow out, but couldn’t stand against the cold. Why would anyone live here?

                I reached the car, looking forward to the heater within. As I opened the door and briefly looked behind me and stopped. It was dark and snowing. The snow covered the ground, making everything white. The sky was black and empty, but the ground, illuminated by street lights, was pure and defined. The trees lining the street, with their leafless branches stretched into the blackness, as if the light were fighting away the oppressive darkness, but could only do so much against its weight. I left the car behind, walked to the center of the road, and pulled out my camera. Maybe this is why people live here.

2 comments:

The Book Elf said...

I like this. From the first "Why would anybody live here?" to the "Maybe this is why," it is beautifully done.

(Just for fun, you should make a copy for your mom, and instead of Minnesota, make it Michigan.)

Greg said...

Awesome use of imagery. I loved the ending. Very well done. I noticed the first paragraph engaged my interest right off the bat with "It was so cold." It got me wondering what you were talking about. The humor helped maintain that interest. Maybe it's that I know exactly what you're writing about, because I've been there, but I could see your prose perfectly in my mind. Great stuff! Keep working on it!