bonus points if you include any mention of non-greek deities.
Uloneus stood at the gates of the underworld, standing out like a sore thumb. Everything here was black and dark, and smelled of death, while Uloneus was pure white and standing near him made one feel invigorated. Uloneus stood to the side of the gates, watching the poor lost souls filter through it. He somewhat hoped that his presence would help through what was coming next.
That was not why Uloneus was here though. He wasn’t dead either, like all of those other souls. Uloneus was on a rescue mission. Usually, no one went to the underworld unless they had died, and they never came back afterwards either. This situation was different. Uloneus’s granddaughter was still alive, and being held captive here by Hades.
The way Uloneus understood it, Hades wife had asked for a unicorn so that she wouldn’t feel so dreary down in the underworld, and so Hades went after the first unicorn he could find, Uloneus’s granddaughter, and stole her into the underworld. Normally, to capture a Unicorn, one needs to be a virgin. Hades was no virgin, so Uloneus still didn’t know how it had happened, but he suspected that Hades had done something unjust to capture her. Uloneus was an ancient and well respected unicorn, so he was able to obtain an audience with Zeus after waiting for some time.
Zeus heard his plea, but told Uloneus that he was unable to do anything about it. Zeus’ domain was the sky, he had no power over the underworld, and he knew that Hades would deny any unjust activities and that he wouldn’t give her back.
So, feeling almost completely helpless, Uloneus decided that he would go into the underworld himself and offer to take his Granddaughters place. This was all well and good until he found himself at the underworld. There, he hesitated. He stood there for a long time, just watching the dead shuffle through the gates. Uloneus almost went back, but he thought of the shame he would feel upon telling his family that he had failed, and decided that he must go forward.
He stepped past the gate, not looking back for fear of turning around. This wasn’t so bad, he thought, just a line of the dead, and himself, heading towards judgment. That was when he heard the growling. Uloneus stopped and looked up. He saw three pairs of eyes staring down at him, all belonging to the same creature. Uloneus had forgotten about Cerberus, the guardian of the underworld.
Except its impossible to capture a unicorn without a virgin, so Uloneus was fairly sure that he could escape the hound. Cerberus snapped at Uloneus, but almost on instinct Uloneus was able to maneuver out of the way. Uloneus tried to run deeper into the underworld, but was blocked by Cerberus, who continues to bite at and miss him. This went on for a long time before Uloneus decided that he should return again with a better plan. He turned and tried to leave, but was pushed against by the throngs of the dead. Cerberus, chased after him, not being bothered by the dead, but also not wanting to bite at him, as Cerberus would only eat live meat, and Uloneus was surrounded by the dead.
“What is all the commotion!?” A horrible voice said.
Uloneus looked back and saw Hades approaching. Hades saw Uloneus and smiled. “Another one? And it’s trying to get away? That won’t do!”
Uloneus had passed through the gates but stopped at the River Styx. The ferryman had agreed to take him across the first time, but wasn’t there now to take him back, and even if he were, he probably wouldn’t have done it. “After it Cerberus!” Hades yelled, cutting the chain around its three heads.
Cerberus launched itself after Uloneus. Uloneus froze with fear, but the moment Cerberus was upon him, Uloneus found himself jumping over the river. The River Styx seemed endless, but almost magically, Uloneus jumped the whole thing. Cerberus could not catch him, even if he was backed into a corner like that. Uloneus thought he was safe, but he turned back and saw Cerberus swimming towards him. Cerberus was actually swimming the River Styx. Uloneus hadn’t thought that was possible.
And so Uloneus had continues running, with Cerberus chasing after him. Even after he shouldn’t have been able to run any more, he kept going, because he was a unicorn, and not even Cerberus would be able to catch him.
Uloneus finally collapsed. Chest heaving, he looked behind him and saw Cerberus sniffing the air. It had given up on Uloneus, but that was because there was much better and easier prey here. They were back in the mortal world. Uloneus suddenly realized what he had done. He had brought Cerberus to the world of the living, where, left unchecked, he would devour all living things in his path.
Cerberus was about ready to bound off in search of living food, but a thunderbolt landed in front of it. Where the thunderbolt had landed, stood Thor. “You have gotten yourself into a terrible mess this time Uloneus,” Thor said. “If you wished to rescue your granddaughter, you could have always come to me for assistance.”
“It was a Greek matter,” Uloneus stammered, “I didn’t thing it appropriate.”
Thor huffed, “Hmph! The Greeks! If you were wronged, it does not matter who wronged you!”
“Won’t Zeus get mad at you for interfereing?” Uloneus said.
“You leave Zeus to me, I know how to handle him, he’s not as scary as he seems,” Thor said, raising his hammer as a lightning bolt, one of Zeus’ this time, hit it, the hammer acting as a lightning rod.
Cerberus, through all of this, had been attacking Thor, to no avail. Thor had been holding back the hellhound with a massive wind. Thor stopped the wind; his talk with Uloneus finished, and faced Cerberus. “Come on then you great beast, let us do battle!”
~~
This prompt made me giggle as I wrote it. "Ancient and well respected Unicorn." XD
I chose Thor as the non Greek god for this one reason:
1 comment:
Very amusing. Good job. :D
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